B.J. Thomas, the famous rock 'n' roll singer from the 1970s, had a popular hit that said, "I'm hooked on a feeling, I'm high on believing you're in love with me."

It's so true, people go from one relationship to another because they are hooked on a feeling. But what they don't know is that feelings come and go like the wind.

When you first meet that Mr. Right or Miss Right, it's like heaven. We talk for hours, we love those kind and loving words, and the physical touch. We never hurt one another or say unkind or negative things.

The Problem: Relationships that are based only on feelings have a life span of about six months to two years. Divorce rates are about 50% or higher. Second and third marriages go downhill and bring the divorce rates even higher. So why not just live together until the feelings go and then start over with someone else? No commitment, no lasting relationship. Does that sound familiar for couples today? Nothing starts so wonderful and ends so lousy.

The Bible uses or alludes to four Greek words for love:

• Eros — sexual love
• Storge — family bonds
• Philia — love that is based on feelings that come and go
• Agape — God's love that will seek the welfare and betterment of others regardless of how you feel

Two problems from the male and female perspective:

1) The husband thinks, "My wife doesn't tell me she loves me anymore." But if you are the kind of husband that criticizes, shows anger, is controlling, complains about everything, makes your wife feel she can't do anything to please you, then don't expect a gushing, expressive kind of love from her. You have killed it.

2) The wife thinks, "My husband doesn't tell me he loves me anymore." But if you are the kind of wife that criticizes, shows anger, is controlling, complains about having sex, makes your husband feel he can't do anything to please you, then don't expect a gushing, expressive kind of love from him. You have killed it.

Matthew 7:12 says,
So whatever you would like to be done to you, do it first to your spouse. Let your words build up and not condemn (Colossians 4:6). Let your actions be loving and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4).
Men, if you want to be loved, then love your wife. God made her a responder.

Over the years, our marriage relationship will go into different phases of love as we age. Less sex, more commitment, care taker and then death. I could say more.

See if you can out love your spouse with your actions.
Let us do it God's way! We know our way doesn't work.